Finding Love

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match / Find me a find, catch me a catch." We've come a long way from the era depicted in the classic musical Fiddler on the Roof , when parents routinely hired someone to find their adult children a "perfect match". We've now got the freedom to be our own matchmakers, but there's still a catch, it's not always an easy task. Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples.

No need to be wistful, though, if you can't afford to hire a matchmakerr. We've asked four exclusive matchmakers for their best tips on how to find love. Here's what they have to say:

•  Be realistic. "If you look like Roseanne, don't fixate on finding a Tom Cruise look-alike," they said. "I also tell women who seem to be on a money hunt -- that is, looking exclusively for men with big bucks -- they'll have to change their attitude if their goal is a long-term relationship. Men can sense right away if you're out for their wallet, not their personality." In the long run, the most priceless attributes you should want in a mate are not looks and/or money but a loving heart, dependable nature and commitment to you.

2. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. "Men have a radar for detecting women who are baby hungry ," warns Ken an upscale matchmaking service for successful professionals, whose service has brought together about 6,000 marriages in 19 years, adds, "He's thinking, 'Whoa -- I don't even know your middle name, and I already know the colors you want to paint your kid's nursery.'" Your best bet: no baby talk!

3. Make dating a priority . Janis, suggests that clients approach finding the right man as they would a job hunt. The key is to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone . Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. "You also need to change your routine," adds, who in the last 10 years has brought together more than 300 marriages and 400 monogamous couples. "Don't get your newspaper delivered. You might meet someone at the newsstand".

4. Nix the ex talk . On the first few dates, they advise their clients to ex-cise the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up. But if you bash your ex too much , your date could think, Whoops -- she might be talking about me that way in a few months! Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour. If he's still hung up on her, his heart has no room for you.

5. Neurotics needn't apply . You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship. For instance, it's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone. It's equally bad if your guy looks as longingly at the gin bottle as he does at you. Or if he's morbidly depressed. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing.